Conversation : Choosing A Life Partner

Savita: Rahul, what is your opinion about love-marriage? Don’t the youngsters deserve (right to have ) the freedom to choose their own life-partners?

Rahul: In my view, they must not be given such a freedom. I am against love-marriages. If we break the discipline of the society, we’ll convert it into a jungle. Remember, no discipline, no society.

Ruchi: Yes, I agree with Rahul. Young boys and girls are generally emotional. They are not rational enough to take an important decision of life, like choosing a life-partner.

Vinod: It’s all rubbish. You can’t say that youngsters of modern world are undisciplined or irrational. They are educated. They can think and decide. You can’t use them as puppets.

Rahul: But they are not mature enough to take vital (important) decisions of their life. They need guidance.

Savita: They definitely need guidance, and they take it. But how can a youngster be compelled to marry a person whom he or she doesn’t know? Such patriarchal (very old) thinking is suffocating (where we feel difficult to breathe).

Ruchi: Our parents are not fools. They are experienced and they can sacrifice their lives to get a bright future for us. Now if a youngster starts thinking against his parents, will you call him a wise person? Are the old persons like evil forces? They brought you up with so much love and care. How can they try to ruin your life?

Vinod: Ruchi, please don’t lose your temper. We are not saying that parents are unwise or bad. But you must agree with our point that if two young persons are not emotionally compatible (well-adjusted )– if they are not aware of each others’ habits and qualities, they can’t live together happily. A life partner must not be an emotional burden.

Rahul: What are you saying Vinod? Are our parents not emotionally compatible? Are they not happy? Don’t they love each other? They didn’t have a love marriage.

Ruchi: It is my firm belief that arranged marriages are very successful.

Savita: You are wrong. Western countries are richer and happier than our country. If there is no love, a couple doesn’t marry there. No one says that quality of life has deteriorated (become worse) there. And Rahul, those countries have not changed into jungles.

Rahul: Quality of life is definitely deteriorating there, families are collapsing (breaking). There are uncountable numbers of divorces. The children are insecure. Psychological diseases are on rise.

Ruchi: Fear and discipline are necessary for a civilized and healthy society.

Vinod: We are not living in a stone age. We are not barbarians (uncivilized persons, bad-mannered and uneducated) or animals. Today’s man is educated and civilized (sensible and well-mannered). He knows how to live and talk. You can’t enforce (impose obedience by law etc.) fear and discipline.

Ruchi: Do you want to say that there will be less crime if there is no law or police?

Vinod: We are talking about love-marriages not about law, police or democaracy.

Savita: Friends, we are having a debate. Please don’t indulge in a wrangling match (noisy argument).

Rahul: But Savita, these are the hard facts, the bitter truths of human life. Young people also have weaknesses.

Savita: Do you think love is poison for the youth? If a boy and girl fall in love it is a sacred act of God. Why can’t they marry? And love refines our feelings. We should speak against violence and hatred, but not against love.

Ruchi: We are not speaking against love. Love is not bad. You can love your parents, your friends or children. But meaning of love in marriages is some-what different. And a married couple has responsibilities towards the society. Thus a good arrangement by the parents should be the rule. They also know better about the factors make a marriage successful.

Vinod: You mean to say that youngsters are fools, they know nothing about life, and they must not fall in love. How can you think in such a way in modern world? Now Ruchi, tell me, what would you do if you fall in love and your parents are against the match?

Ruchi: Any person may fall in love. But to marry a person we must consult our parents. If they are against it we should forget love and opt for self-control and discipline. Without discipline, our society won’t be worth-living.

Savita: But I think sensible parents won’t object if you choose a right partner.

Vinod: Suppose a couple is deeply in love. Love has transformed (changed) them enthusing (encouraging) their creative energies. It seems they are actually made for each other. Their marriage can be successful and fulfilling. Shouldn’t they revolt against the parents then? How can they sacrifice their lives for their ego (self-importance) or happiness?

Ruchi: How can you talk so irresponsibly?

Savita: I think this debate is becoming endless. So let us have a break here and enjoy tea and gossips.

Vinod: I agree.